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“Nothing new there then.”
She sat at that table, opposite Noah. She saw the rucksacks gathered in front of them both. Rucksacks filled with supplies to get them through. Limited food. Water. Tools of survival. First aid stuff.
And it still felt daunting, all this. It still felt like a difficult reality to accept. And that was the truth. As much as she knew they needed to go out there, as much as she was a huge proponent of it, and she’d been critical of Noah’s lack of initiative on that front... she was afraid, too.
Because she feared the exact same thing as he did.
Losing everyone.
Losing him.
“Here’s what I’m thinking,” Kelly said, leaning on the table like it was a desk in the middle of a map room. “We head towards Grimsargh. It’s not as populated as Preston. That’s gonna be a nightmare, and we know it. There’s a chance if we head further into the country, we might run into farmers willing to let us shack up for a night. Or supermarkets and shops that’ve been less hit. Besides, those small-town types are more community-minded anyway. They’ll probably be more likely to help us out.”
“And if they ask about the virus?” Jasmine said.
Kelly frowned. “What about the virus?”
“Do you tell them the truth? That you... you had it? Eddie had it? But both of you are still standing? Both of you are still here?”
Kelly shook her head, tutted. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“We still don’t understand this,” Jasmine said. “Technically... all of us should’ve had it. Me and Noah. We should’ve shown symptoms ourselves. But we haven’t. We don’t know why. But we don’t know it means we’re off the hook, either. We could be carriers. We don’t know a thing.”
“You’re all over the place,” Kelly said.
“What?”
“One minute, you’re on about butchering anyone who dares stand in dear supreme leader Jasmine’s way. The next, you’re worrying about us maybe passing on this virus to other people. What’s it gonna be?”
Jasmine turned away. “I just want us to be clear, is all. We’re going out there. We need to know how we’re approaching other people. How we’re handling other people.”
“And we’ll handle them in whatever way seems right,” Kelly said. “Ruthless pragmatism. The way you’ve always done things. Remember?”
Jasmine lowered her gaze. She knew what Kelly was getting at.
“You’re a ruthless bitch anyway. Play to your strengths. This should be fun for you!”
Jasmine opened her mouth to bite back. But in the end, she just held her tongue. Didn’t say another word. She had to hold back. She couldn’t lose her shit. She had to resist.
They finished their food and water. Then they gathered the rucksacks. Went through their supplies. And then they walked out of that kitchen. Through the lounge.
They stood there together, outside Kelly’s house. The warmth of the sun beating down on Jasmine’s skin. Birdsong surrounding her. The smell of sweat. A dryness to her mouth.
“We ready to do this or what?” Kelly asked.
Jasmine looked at Eddie. Then at Barney.
And then she looked at Noah.
She caught him glancing at her.
Felt those butterflies in her stomach all over again.
And then she looked at Kelly, rucksack over her shoulder, and she nodded.
“Let’s do this.”
Chapter Eight
Bruce saw his wife in the distance, and he knew he needed to reach her.
It was bright. Blisteringly bright, so bright he couldn’t see anything else. He could just about make out her body. Just about make out her long, dark hair. And her crystal smile.
But he knew something was wrong.
He knew he needed to get to her. Because if he didn’t, something was going to happen. Something bad was going to happen.
He tried to run, but his feet felt like they were sticking in the ground. The more he tried, the further he felt himself sinking into the ground. He felt the ground surrounding his legs. Tightening. The concrete melting away, sneaking up his body, worming its way around him.
“Please,” he shouted. “Samantha. Sam...”
And then a flash came to his mind.
It felt so vivid that it had to be a memory.
Samantha.
Blood trickling from her nostrils. Her eyes. Her lips.
The sense of loss inside him. That sense of despair.
But also that sense that he had to carry on. For his daughter. For...
“Sadia?”
He looked around and immediately he saw Sadia standing there. Balancing on the edge of a cliff. Walking along it. Throwing stones off it, into the vastness below, a vastness Bruce couldn’t properly see from here, but a vastness he understood immediately.
“Sadia!” he shouted.
He tried to run towards her. But that vice grip grew tighter around his legs. His knees turned to stone. His body felt like it was going to collapse in on itself.
But that overwhelming urge to reach his daughter.
To save her.
To rescue her from falling.
To...
One second, she was there.
The next, she looked around at him and smiled.
Blood oozing down her face.
Head cracked open. Skull in pieces.
“It’s okay, Daddy,” she said. “I’m with Mummy now.”
And then she stepped back off the cliff and disappeared into the void.
He let out a scream, and he opened his eyes.
“Dad?”
He turned over. Looked side to side. He was in the middle of some kind of wooded area under a tree. He was laced with sweat. The sun beamed down from above. He felt dehydrated. Hungry. Shaky.
“Dad? Are you okay?”
He looked around, and he saw Sadia standing there. Dark hair covering her forehead, greasy. A look of concern on her poor little face.
He stood up. Grabbed his daughter. Held her tight. “Just a bad dream. Just a nightmare. That’s all. I’m fine. Don’t worry. I’m fine.”
He held her a little longer, and then she pushed him away, rolling her eyes like she always did in that best impression of an adult of hers. “Don’t be so silly, Dad. It’s just a bad dream. It can’t hurt you. Like the bad dreams I used to have. Remember?”
He moved away from her. Nodded, wiping a tear from his eye without her noticing. The dreams were hard. They brought back the unrivalled pain of losing his wife, and coupled it with the loss of his daughter, too. He couldn’t handle that. Couldn’t take it. It would destroy him. Break him.
Sadia ran off into the woods. He didn’t like her getting too far away, but he didn’t want to smother her, either. He wanted to give her the illusion of a normal life. She was too young to truly understand the ramifications of the loss of her mother. She still asked when she was coming back, sometimes. It was early days. Still so fresh. Still so raw. It would take time for both of them to truly get their heads around it all.
But Bruce was adamant about one thing.
He wasn’t losing his daughter.
Nobody was taking his daughter away from him.
No matter how many obstacles got in their way.
“Sadia, wait,” he said.
He ran off after her. Partly playing. Partly in jest. But also with a little fear, too. With a little trepidation. He didn’t want her to get too far away. He didn’t want her to slip out of his sight.
“Sadia!” he shouted.
He ran a few steps further when he saw something up ahead.
Sadia was standing in the middle of the woods. There was something by her side.
A rucksack.
He frowned. Walked closer towards it. He didn’t know what was in there, didn’t know what it was hiding. There could be anything in there.
And then he saw something else beside it.
The smell hit him.
Then the flies.
Then
...
“Shit.”
He grabbed Sadia. Pulled her back.
Covered her mouth and his in turn.
A man lay dead on the grass.
Blood trickled from his eyes like it’d been spray-painted on there.
His tongue looked swollen and blue, like a big sea slug.
“Come on,” he said. “Away from...”
He realised something, then.
This man. He wasn’t dressed as normal. He was in green medical gear.
He edged closer towards him. Had a peek inside that rucksack.
In there, he saw things. Water. A few snack bars, that kind of thing.
And a whole bunch of medication.
Bruce turned his ID card around, being as careful as possible not to touch his skin.
Saw the man’s name.
Walter Wierzki.
And then the address.
Grimsargh Medical Center.
Medical Supply Courier.
He held that ID badge in his hand for a few seconds. Heart racing. An idea springing to mind.
’Cause this guy had clearly tried getting away from this medical centre.
He had a fair few supplies in there.
Which meant there was a chance that centre had some supplies, too.
Supplies that could help his daughter.
“Is everything okay, Daddy?”
Bruce stood up, still holding that ID badge. He wiped his hand. Then he put his other arm around his daughter.
“Yeah,” he said, looking off into the distance. “I have a funny feeling everything’s going to be just fine.”
He looked off into the distance, off towards Grimsargh.
And with Sadia by his side, that ID badge close by, that medical supply centre looming on the horizon, he felt a glimmer of hope.
He didn’t see the man’s body twitch.
Chapter Nine
Noah saw Grimsargh in the distance, and he felt a knot in his stomach.
It was another warm, clammy day. The clouds were thick and grey. Looked like last night’s brief storm hadn’t quite passed over yet. Even though he’d been out into the outside world in the last week, it still felt like this was the first time he’d really stepped out of his comfort zone. Because there was a chance they weren’t going back to Kelly’s. A chance this was a new start for them. The beginning of something new.
And that scared Noah. The unknown scared Noah. Naturally. It scared everyone.
But when he saw Grimsargh in the distance, he felt that fear more acutely than before.
The sights were typical. Abandoned cars at the side of the road. A few crashed into one another, twisted metal, shattered windscreens. Inside some of them, smudges of blood. Bodies by the side of the road. Flies buzzing around. The smell of rot. The stench and the taste of death.
It wasn’t that he felt immune to the sights anymore. Quite the opposite. Seeing the outside world still in this state with no signs of cleanup, no signs of evacuation, no signs of help, it drilled the reality of their situation home. Because it meant this journey could be in vain. It meant they might’ve left it too long already to gather supplies. It meant they might find themselves reliant on another group, or forced to find ways to survive this world for themselves.
And that scared him too. Because he didn’t know a thing about survival. Not really. He’d gone on a few wilderness camping trips as a kid, learned a few tricks here and there. How to make a compass in the wild. How to make a few traps. Things like that. But nothing that really stuck with him. Nothing that could truly help him. Hell, Eddie probably knew more about survival than he did, from the many post-apocalyptic books and games he delved into.
“Well, this is it,” Kelly said.
Noah stopped. He looked at the road ahead. On the left, there was a huge warehouse store, the kind that carried loads of supplies, from food to clothing to tools to whatever, the kind of place where delivery couriers got their supplies. Maybe they could find some things there to get them by an extra week or two. Or perhaps they’d find someone there; someone willing to stand by them, someone willing to help them. He wasn’t sure what he expected to find, or even what he wanted to find.
“I think this place supply to Aldi, and they do decent cheese puffs, to be fair,” Eddie said. “You think there might be any still lying around in there?”
Noah shook his head. “You and your cheese puffs.”
The four of them stood there in the middle of the road. Barney by their side. There was a caution to them. A hesitation to them. On the one hand, Noah wanted to keep walking. He wanted to go inside this place. He wanted to get it all done with, find out for himself once and for all whether there were supplies in there, or whether they were already going to have to think about the Plan B: moving further through Grimsargh, finding a group to survive with. Someone they could trust.
On the other hand, he wanted to stay here. Turn back.
Because any step further was a step closer towards risking losing everything he had.
“It’ll be fine, mate.”
Noah looked around. Saw Eddie half-smiling at him. A rare look of sincerity glowed in his eyes. Something he wasn’t used to from his friend. At least, not for a long while, anyway. Not since his parents died, and his life fell apart.
“You sure about that?” Noah asked.
Eddie’s smile widened. “I got the damned virus. Got cornered by frigging guards. Whatever happens, I have a feeling we’re not meant to die in this world. We’re meant to survive. It’s like, karma, or whatever.”
“You sure that’s how karma works?”
“I know what I mean.”
“That’s the main thing then,” Noah said.
He scratched his head. “Just... I guess what I’m trying to say is, we’ll be alright. We’re together, us lot. Working together. For each other. And that’ll take us far. That’ll keep us going. Because we’re stronger when we’re together.”
Kelly snorted. “You are. If you didn’t have us, you’d be a floundering wreck right now.”
“Bit harsh,” Eddie said.
“But true.”
He picked at something between his teeth. Shrugged. “Fair point. But... but I remember something you told me.” He turned to Noah again now. “When things were bad. You told me... something that always stuck with me. ‘You have to take a leap of faith in life. If you want to get out of the gutter.’”
Noah heard Eddie’s words. He didn’t remember saying them, but they sounded like the kind of thing he might say if he was trying to reassure someone, or help someone. He had a way with words, people said. Just a shame he felt like there wasn’t much substance behind them.
But he smiled. Nodded. Whatever the hell they meant, regardless of why or when he’d said them, he was glad they’d resonated with Eddie in some way.
They turned around again. Walked closer to this warehouse store. They saw the usual sights: the cars in the car park, like people were just inside getting their shopping done. The darkness behind the windows that made the store looked closed, and brought an eeriness to the whole situation.
And the lack of movement. The lack of life.
Crows swooping down and squabbling over fly-covered dead bodies.
A gentle, warm breeze carrying the whispers of the dead.
“We go in there,” Kelly said. “We get what we need. And then we get the hell out. Okay?”
Noah swallowed a lump in his throat.
He took a deep breath.
He looked at Jasmine, one final time. Then at Eddie.
And then he nodded.
“Let’s go get this done with.”
Chapter Ten
Jasmine stepped into the warehouse store, and she knew what she needed to do.
The store was dark. Every footstep she or one of the others took echoed around this vast expanse. Trolleys were left abandoned in the middle of the narrow aisles. A big, grey bloke was slumped over one of them, a pale hand barely clutching to the side
of the metal. His face was smeared with crispy, purple blood.
The smell hit Jasmine’s lungs right away and made her want to puke. The smell of rot. Of decay. And that familiar sound of flies. That constant sound of flies buzzing around. A reminder of the death. Even when you couldn’t see it, it was there. Waiting around every corner.
She covered her mouth with a face mask. The rest of the group did the same. Not that she knew it would do much good or make a difference or anything. But any preventative measure was better than none.
And then she walked down the aisle. Tried to refocus on the task at hand. Gathering supplies. Canned food. Stuff that would last. Water was easy enough to gather anyway, so that wasn’t a priority. Any tools or supplies that might come in handy as weapons, or anything that might help them survive.
She stumbled down the aisle, looking from left to right. She couldn’t believe quite how much stuff was left, in all truth. Blackened bananas. Rotten, furry strawberries, and tomatoes. A few things had been taken, of course. But nowhere near as much as Jasmine might expect from a place like this.
It looked like Kelly’s instincts were right.
And it posed the question.
If so many supplies were left, just how many people were still alive to salvage them?
She kept her head down. Opened her rucksack. Threw a few bags of rice in there. Then some chicken in sauce, plenty of tins of it. The more she walked down these aisles, the more her hope started to grow. The more her optimism started to build.
And then she’d see another person lying there, dead on the floor, and she’d snap right back to the present moment, the reality of this dire situation.
She kept on moving. Tried to stay as detached as she could from the bodies. The store was so silent. There was an eerie feeling about it. She knew it was probably bullshit. Probably just a hunch. But sometimes hunches were there for a reason. And right now, she had a real bad feeling about this.
She kept going anyway. Turned the corner. Gathered a few biscuits, canned lentils, and chickpeas, things like that. And then they reached the crisps, and she stopped and smiled.